|
|
|
"300" (R)
The stylish epic "300"
didn't impress our critic
By Tom Houseman
The battle of Thermopylae! The greatest
battle in the history of organized warfare! Three hundred highly
trained, blood-thirsty Spartans take on an army of 7000 led by a king
many thought to be a God. One of the most incredibly underdog stories
ever, and it’s all told by the master of the graphic novel, the man
behind Sin City, Frank Miller! How the hell do you screw something like
that up?
If you want to know the answer, just ask Zach Snyder, co-writer and
director of 300. Snyder has managed to suck the life out of the battle
of Thermopylae, taking what could have been a spectacular film
experience and somehow turning it into an extremely tedious two hours of
film that you’ll spend wishing you could be watching Sin City again.
The focus of 300, based on Frank Miller’s graphic novel, is King
Leonidas (Gerard Butler) of Sparta, who has to defend the country he
loves from the mighty Persian Empire of Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro).
Without the support of the Senate, Leonidas must head out with only
three-hundred men (possibly the inspiration for the title) to take on
the Persian army, which includes archers, ninjas, elephants, a
rhinoceros, and several circuses worth of freaks.
The mountain of problems with 300 starts at the base, with the
screenplay. None of the characters are developed beyond a single trait.
Leonidas is brave, his enemy in the Senate (Dominic West) is evil, his
wife (Lena Headey) is, well, hot and naked. The Spartans as a whole are
so deeply unsympathetic as a people that it’s difficult to root for
them. They force seven year old boys to undergo psychological torture so
as to train them to be killing machines; isn’t that wonderful? Leonidas
is rude, volatile, and always angry, making him a less than inspiring
protagonist.
But at least there are those awesome battle scenes to watch, right?
Those have gotta be awesome! Those who go to see 300 in that mindset
(probably most of the audience), will be sorely disappointed. When most
of a movie is taken up by battle scenes, it’s difficult to keep your
interest going, but when the battles are as poorly directed as these,
it’s downright impossible. Every scene is in slow motion, so bloodbaths
that would be thrilling are instead painfully monotonous. Add to that
the unnecessary and distracting narration, and Tyler Bates’s absurdly
overdramatic music, and you’re stuck with two hours of mind-numbing
battle. If Snyder had taken out the slow motion and the narration, it
would have made for a much better movie, especially because it would
have only been about half an hour long.
So what good can be said about 300? Essentially, the makeup. You have
never seen makeup like this. It’s extraordinary. There are several
horribly deformed warriors that feature fantastic makeup, and of course,
the bloodbath gave wonderful opportunities for some really excellent
makeup. Yep, there’s some great makeup in 300. Of course, There is not
one single good performance in the film—not that anyone is given a
chance to give one—and the dialogue is absurd. The movie drags on
painfully, and is as subtle as a spear to the head. But, hey, check out
that makeup.
**/**** |
|
|
